Lately, over the last year, my diagnosis of “treatment-resistant” depression—severe, recurrent—triggers me into an overwhelm of hopelessness. Can we choose a gentler clinical term? I don’t want to be treatment-resistant, I want something to work for me. I think they understand that I have been trying so hard and for so long and for so many years…and believing and hoping and trusting because I know there’s merit in attitude and self-fulfilling prophecies and even placebo (hey, I’ll take it)…at this point they are close to saying I’ve failed Ketamine. What comes after Ketamine? My psychiatrist says we have more options, but it’s hard to believe him. I want to give up. I won’t give up—I’m safe as long as I stay sober, but it’s hard to hold onto hope right now. Does anyone know of anything in the family or whereabouts of hope that you or we can hold onto when hope seems just out of reach? I need something to hold onto, something to believe in. ❤ KC
The Kindness of Strangers 