TGIF

I’d like to start a Friday post inspired by Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection—TGIF: what I’m Trusting, what I’m Grateful for, what Inspires me, and how I’m practicing my Faith.

I’m TRUSTING that I’m on the right path in my healing journey. I’m trusting my treatment team, my friends, and my family. I’m trying to cultivate an attitude of trusting that I am exactly where I need to be right now—and trusting that I’ll continue to grow and heal.

I’m GRATEFUL for the time I spent at The Refuge: A Healing Place this summer. The Refuge is a trauma-specific residential treatment center in Florida, where I spent a month (following a not-so-great month at another facility) working hard on healing from my PTSD. During quarantine, my mental health really plummeted. I was crying nearly every day, and panicking and having flashbacks absolutely every day, and spiraled to the point where I wasn’t functioning well. The Refuge turned out to be an amazingly helpful program, although it was tough work. I am also thankful to be spending this week with a dear friend of 15 years in Fort Lauderdale. I mentioned something to her a few days ago that she said she’d never heard me say before—something traumatic from my past—and I stopped and realized I could hardly believe I’d said it out loud, let alone wasn’t panicking. Then, today on my way to coffee I walked by a funeral home. I stopped and paused and regarded it and didn’t panic or get even a little upset, when normally this would have triggered me badly. Wow, I thought—the trauma has really lost some of its sting.

I am INSPIRED by the medium of watercolor. I have a lot to learn, but I’m finding it very soothing, and I have some great beginner’s books that are helping me with techniques and layering the colors. I am excited to have discovered this—I was only curious, and now I’m getting really into it!

I’m practicing my FAITH by reading, reading, reading. A friend at The Refuge gifted me the NISV version of the Bible; I am learning tarot; and I’m currently reading The Places That Scare You by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron.

I leave you with my newest watercolor:

Beta fish, by KC

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